Smells Like Teen Spirit?

listen | iTunes | rss | download | stitcher

I don’t know about yours, but my Grandmother stank. She was a grand old lady, very sweet and somewhat clean, but she had an odor that both preceded her entrance into a room and, thankfully, made it’s departure as she rustled out the door in her house dress. Oh, and when grandma came to visit? Guess who she bunked with. Yup. I sometimes think those experiences scarred me for life, perhaps leading to my discomfort with sleeping with women. When I was around her I sometimes tried to sniff out the source of the smell. She didn’t have body odor, per say, just a moist staleness – and her hair was pretty neutral. She dipped snuff and perhaps that was a contributing factor. However, the tobacco wasn’t very noticeable until she jettisoned the occasional dark stream of spittle into the spittoon – usually half way across the room. She took pride in her aim and her distance skills. These old memories came to mind today as I was pondering a new study just published in Scientific America. Turns out, Grandma really DID stink. Here’s the story …

Wait a minute. There’s something unusual about the subway seat you just claimed. It’s awfully warm, and a peculiar odor seems to hover in the air nearby—a stale, musty odor tinged with something as acrid as mothballs. You know this aroma: it’s “old person smell.”

Anecdotally, the unique scent of the elderly lingers wherever they live and in any confined spaces they have recently occupied, such as taxis and elevators. Many different cultures have recognized the phenomenon—the Japanese even have a word for it,kareishuu—but the biological truth of old person smell remains uncertain. In a new study, blindfolded volunteers reliably recognized the aroma of the elderly by sniffing sweat-soaked armpit pads, although they had a much harder time correctly matching pads to the young and middle-aged, and they were not able to make fine distinctions about age based on scent alone. Contrary to the popular notion that old person smell is disagreeable, volunteers in the new study rated the odors of the elderly as much less unpleasant and intense than those of the middle-aged and young. Combined with earlier research, the new findings suggest that people retain a latent ability to gauge someone’s age based on their odor, a talent inherited from evolutionary ancestors that might be linked to the ways animals recognize the sick and dying.

Human body odor also changes with age, depending largely on the activity of various skin glands and how the substances they release interact with bacteria. The sebaceous glands, which secrete a waxy substance called sebum to lubricate and waterproof the skin, are particularly active during puberty and throughout most of adulthood. Likewise, apocrine sweat glands—which are only located in a few places, such as the armpits and genital region—rev up during puberty. Eccrine sweat glands, found all over the human body, exude a clear, odorless, salty liquid throughout life. All these fluids begin to stink when bacteria break down the various chemicals they contain—especially steroids and lipids—into smaller, odorous molecules that easily waft into the air. The more sweat on the skin, the more chemicals for the bacteria to break down, and the stronger the body odor.

Johan Lundström of the Monell Chemical Senses Center studies human and animal body odors and how the brain responds to smells. Every now and then, he gives scientific talks at an elderly care center in the greater Philadelphia area that—he realized one day—smells almost exactly like the nursing home his mother managed in Sweden when he was young. Perhaps the smell really did emanate from the residents. Knowing about earlier research on animal body odors and age, Lundström decided to test whether smell also informs how people evaluate age.

In their new study, Lundström and his colleagues sewed absorbent nursing pads into the armpits of T-shirts and asked volunteers of different ages to sleep in the shirts for five consecutive nights. The researchers divided the 44 volunteers into three groups: eight women and eight men between the ages of 20 and 30 (the young); the same number of men and women between 45 and 55 (middle-aged); and six women and six men between 75 and 95 (elderly). During the day, the volunteers stored the T-shirts in sealed plastic bags; avoided spicy foods, cigarettes and alcohol; and showered with odorless shampoo and soap.

After the fifth night, Lundström and his team collected and carefully quartered the sweaty nursing pads, placing four segments from each age group in different glass jars in preparation for a smell test. A different group of 41 young men and women volunteered their noses, taking a big whiff of the air at the top of a jar while blindfolded and rating both the intensity and pleasantness of the odor. Sometimes volunteers had to choose which of two odors most likely came from the older volunteer. Other times the volunteers had to label different jars “young,” “middle-age” or “old-age.”

Contrary to common complaints about “old people smell,” the volunteers’ blind ratings revealed that they found elderly people’s odors both less intense and less unpleasant than odors from young and middle-aged people. Middle-aged man musk took top prize for intensity and unpleasantness, whereas volunteers rated the odors of middle-aged women most pleasant and whiffs of old man as least intense.

Not only did volunteers in Lundström’s new study rate the scent of the elderly as less offensive than any other, they also had the easiest time singling out old person smell from a selection of odors. When the volunteers compared two jars containing pads from different age groups, they reliably recognized that the odors were different, but they were not particularly adept at deciding which scent came from the older person. When volunteers attempted to label several different jars by age group, they also often failed to correctly identify odors from the young and middle-aged—but they were much more successful at picking out the jars containing pads soaked in elderly sweat. Old people smell was often instantly recognizable.

Together, the evidence indicates that people recognize a characteristic “old people smell” not because of the aroma’s intensity or offensiveness, but because of its uniqueness compared to the body odors of younger people. “I think it’s true that old people smell a certain way,” Lundström says, “but the idea that the smell is negative may largely be social stigma.” An earlier study found that, compared with people aged 25 to 40, people over age 40 have higher levels of a fragrant organic compound known as 2-nonenal in their sweat and on their skin. The chemical, which the researchers described as having an “unpleasant grassy and greasy odor,” might be “a major cause of the deterioration in body odor that has been observed with aging”—in other words, the biological explanation for why older people have a characteristic odor. But the compound has also been linked to the scent of cucumbers and aged beer, which are not distasteful to most people; others have compared old people smell to old book smell, which most people find benign at worst and enjoyable at best.

Compared with many other animals, humans have a lousy sense of smell. Determining exactly how people change their behavior based on one another’s scents—or possibly pheromones—has frustrated and challenged scientists. Still, some evidence suggests that subtle chemical communication, much of it subconscious, helps people recognize family, changes women’s reproductive cycles and makes it easier to empathize with others. As for the advantage of recognizing age by odor, “It might be a way to distinguish the sick from the healthy—not overt sickness, but underlying cell decay,” Lundström says. “The older we get, the more natural decay we have. But no one really knows why animals or people have this ability.”

Excuse me folks, but I think I’m going to take a bath now, brush my teeth and douse my head with Listerine.

I’m Jeffrey Lynch and that’s today’s Spot of Bother.

Musical Credits:

Bother Me Often, Carter Beale
Bothersome Reprise, Carter Beale
Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana

Audio sound effect credits:

Freesound.org – “L-train.wav” by nmgproduct

The Serpent in the Pulpit

listen | iTunes | rss | download | stitcher

As a child, I was forced to attend the United Methodist Church with my Mother. Somehow my Dad managed to convince her that he had found the Lord walking in the woods, communing with nature and in his basement workshop. He successfully begged off most Sundays. I tried this tactic but was informed that the Lord would see me by appointment only and that the weekly therapy was necessary to save my mortal, sinful soul. I was six.  I’d sit quietly in the pew – always a window seat when I flew with Jesus – and stare longingly out the beautiful stained glass windows into the adjoining cemetery. It always looked so peaceful and appealing out there. I could never understand why, like in school on a pretty day, we all didn’t just go outside for class, sit on the tombstones and have fellowship with all of those poor, fallen Christian soldiers. The service itself was never too weird only boring and disjointed, with all the loud, off-key musical productions, the constant standing up and sitting down, weird recitations and oh yeah – the free crackers and juice snack that was held in such reverence.

There were rumors of other churches where people spoke in spontaneous mystery languages, drank poison and played with snakes. Cool, right? Perhaps if I had belonged to one of these cults I would have stuck with it. However, as you might imagine snakes can be dangerous, especially Timber Rattlers. One such serpent recently reached his limit with priest fondling and, well, struck out against the church’s abuse.  Here’s the story:

Mack Randall Wolford, pastor at the Full Gospel Apostolic House of the Lord Jesus in Matoaka, West Virginia, died hours after receiving the deadly bite on Sunday – the day after his 44th birthday. Wolford’s father, who was also a serpent-handling pastor, died in the exact same way nearly 30 years earlier.

Wolford was holding a ‘homecoming’ service outdoors in Matoaka while fondling the rattler, which is seen by his followers as a sign of faith.

The gathering was a yearly occurrence for Wolford, who joined relatives to celebrate faith and family before sitting down together for dinner during the Memorial Day weekend.

Wolford had reportedly owned the timber rattlesnake, named Sheba, for several years, taking care of it in his home and introducing it to his followers during his services. His unique celebrations were held regularly for his followers – who numbered between five and 30 – most of whom were members of his family.

Wolford owned several snakes, which he cared for in his home, according to filmmaker Kate Fowler, who was shooting a documentary about him called With Signs Following. In an interview with MailOnline, Ms Fowler, who has worked on the documentary for about a year, described Wolford as ‘articulate, well-read, intelligent and charismatic.’ She said that despite handling venomous snakes, he did his best to make his guests feel comfortable. Ms Fowler said: ‘It was pretty scary the first time I was at a service, but I’ve never seen him put anyone in a bad situation.’

Wolford had been bitten three times before, but never sought medical attention, saying that a bite was a test of his faith. It was his wish not to be taken to a hospital unless absolutely necessary.

A young resident of Matoaka, who wished to remain anonymous, said: ‘I know [Wolford] was really bad off before he died… it was really bad. He’s worshiped at that church all his life. ’His daddy passed away the same way, from a rattler. He knew the risks. All of us around here are that way.’

Wolford was only 15 at the time of his father’s death, but later took on his mantle.

His devastated mother, who was present at the service when he was bitten, was always fearful for her son, but was extremely proud of his work with those who battled alcoholism and addiction, Ms Fowler said.

A nursing supervisor at Bluefield Regional Medical Center told the Charleston Daily Mail that Wolford was admitted to the facility at about 10:30pm on Sunday night. The supervisor told the paper: ‘He was a snake handler. It looked like it happened maybe during church, but by the time he got here, it was a bad situation.’

Ms Fowler was in the process of a final edit of With Signs Following, but is still deciding how to approach Wolford’s death in the documentary.

Neighbours told the Daily Telegraph that Wolford, like other snake-handling preachers, was fully aware of the danger posed by the reptile.

In closing, I have to admit that I have now fully embraced my Father’s philosophy. When Sunday rolls around, I piddle around the house (while praying, of course) drink a little poison, usually mixed with tomato juice and take the occasional walk in the woods. But ya know what? I always wear boots because out there on the trails … that’s where the snakes are and I have the good God-given sense to know … that they’re dangerous.

I’m Jeffrey Lynch and that’s today’s Spot of Bother.

Musical credits:

Bother Me Often, Carter Beale
Bothersome Reprise, Carter Beale
Welcome to Paradise,  Front 242

Sound effect credits:

Freesound.org – “Cuckoo Clock.mp3″ by morgantj
Diamond Back Rattle Snake

The Monster in the Water

Audio commentary available on the FlashCast Podcast.

Hi Mobsters,

I’m recording this piece just a day prior to leaving for a long weekend trip to the Great Smokey Mountains National Park. My primary reason for going is to visit the Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest, a small swath of protected, virgin forest with 400 year old Oaks and 200 ft. Poplar trees. It’s a magical place, and I’m hoping to see a faerie or two. Nearby is beautiful Fontana Lake. There, I’m hoping to do to a little canoeing or at the least have a swim. My only fear is that a nasty little water monster that is causing problems for the gentle folken of Georgia may have somehow made it’s way North into our waters as well. If, after this post I’m absent from your ears for awhile, you’ll know the reason. Here’s the monster story as reported from The Mail Online:

A fourth victim of flesh-eating bacteria in Georgia lost his leg when doctors were forced to amputate it three weeks after he received a cut in a lake while trying to install a new dock.

The latest outbreak of the infection has left neighbors terrified to go in the water at Lake Sinclair, afraid they’ll come down with the rare and serious disease, as well.

Meanwhile, Aimee Copeland, the 24-year-old graduate student whose battle with the bacteria first drew international attention to the horrific medical condition, sat up in bed for several hours.

She continues to recover doctors were forced to amputate her leg, her foot and both her hands as the necrotizing fasciitis spread rapidly through her body.

Paul Bales, the latest victim, was standing in Lake Sinclair near Milledgeville, preparing to install an expansion onto his dock when he cut his leg in the water on May 1, WGXA-TV reports.

His son, Mike Bales, told the TV station his father didn’t think much of the wound when it first happened.

‘It was a very small cut. Matter of fact he just bandaged it up and then went and played golf for the next couple of days,’ he said.

But, within four days the cut began to swell ass the infection set in. On May 5 Mr Bales went to his local hospital.

The next week he was transferred to Medical Center of Central Georgia, as doctors struggled to battle the aggressive disease.

Mr Bales terrifying ordeal, coupled with the other infection rates is beginning to cause panic in Georgia.

Mr Bales neighbors on the lake are keeping their kids out of the water for the Memorial Day holiday, terrified that the bacteria could enter their bloodstreams, too.

‘People are scared they’ll lose limbs. Everybody in town’s scared to go out on the water,’ Austin Hunter, one of Mr Bales’ neighbors, told WGXA.

Miss Copeland, despite her heart-breaking amputations, continues to improve. She remains in critical condition at Doctors Hospital in Augusta.

Miss Copeland, at student at the University of West Georgia, was infected after she cut her leg when she fell from a homemade zip-line and splashed down into the Tallapoosa River near her home in Carrollton on May 1.

The second victim of the flesh-eating disease, Lana Kuykendall, 36, noticed the infection on the back of her leg just hours after being released from Emory University Hospital in Atlanta, where she gave birth to twins.

She has had seven surgeries to remove the infected flesh and remains in critical condition at Greenville Memorial Hospital in South Carolina, near her home.

The third victim, Bobby Vaughn, 33, has been upgraded to good condition after doctors removed two pounds of flesh from his groin.

He is recovering at Doctors Hospital, as well, after he cut his thigh while cutting weeds in Cartersville.

Despite the bizarre outbreak of the disease, Dr Mike Green, of Macon, said people shouldn’t over-react and become paranoid about becoming infected. It remains very rare, he said.

Ok, since two of these cases don’t seem to be water related perhaps the lake will be fine, even that close to the Georgia line. However, I can’t AFFORD to loose two pounds of flesh, ESPECIALLY in my groin region. I’m gonna stick to the woods.

I’m Jeffrey Lynch and that’s this week’s Spot of Bother.

Audio sound effect credits:

Freesound.org – “u_chimes_short1.mp3″ by BristolStories

Freesound.org – “evening in the forest.wav” by reinsamba

Freesound.org – “Guillottine test 02.ogg” by Glaneur de sons

What a Sithole

listen | iTunes | rss | download | stitcher

When I turn on the mic and fire up the Mac to produce one of these little bothersome spots, my main goal is first and foremost to entertain you. Sure, most days it’s simple dismemorabelia for your dark, mental scrapbook but occasionally you actually might learn a little something. Today is a bit different. I have a story of terrorizing goblins, but what’s really fun is the way in which the story is written and what is lost in or perhaps gained through translation. Today’s podcast is dedicated to all the word nerds out there. You know who you are. This story may be found in Zimbabwe’s Zimdiaspora:

Three huts and a house were flattened last Sunday, while people are occasionally being pelted with stones by unseen things, believed to be goblins at a Chisumbanje homestead in Chipinge South where mysterious occurrences are haunting the Sithole Family.

In this true to life tragedy whose scripts reads like a horror movie, the Sithole family had to make do with stones being thrown at them for the past two months, while soil is intermittently tossed into their pots by invisible assailants as they will be preparing food. However, things came to a boil early last week when three huts at the homestead as well as a house suddenly went up in smoke and the family now sleeps in the open, while the few belongings they managed to salvage from the raging fire are heaped outside.

Whenever one young male member of the family, Taso Sithole (16) entered each of the huts and as soon as he came out, that hut would unexpectedly go up in smoke and this happened on all the four structures that were burnt at the homestead. To make matters worse, efforts to put out the fire were rendered futile as the well at the homestead mysteriously ran dry, only for the well to automatically fill up to the brim with water soon after the huts had been razed.

A visibly traumatised Sarah Muyambo (52) said they were not aware of the hand behind the calamity. She, however, admitted that her 29-year-old son was once fingered by some traditional healers as having caused the misfortunes after he had allegedly laid his hands on some money making magical charms!

“It was around 10am when the fire started. All along we were used to being occasionally pelted with stones, while soil would be hurled in our pots as we were cooking sadza. In fact, it has been long since we last prepared a decent meal simple because you would not want to spend a long time preparing a meal, lest soil would be thrown in whatever you will be cooking. My son, we do not even know why the Lord has allowed this to happen to us. So many things have been said by our neighbours and other passers-by, but no one knows the truth yet. As per our tradition, when such things happen, we consulted different traditional healers for possible solutions. On more than one occasion, we were told that my son – Enoth, is responsible. They said he laid his hands on some money-making magical charms and things are now backfiring. When he returned from Bindura we went to one traditional healer with him so that he could hear it from the horse’s mouse, but he vehemently denied the allegations.”

She added that the family has been left without any option, but to come out in the open and let the world know that they were in serious trouble. She said different Christian groups visited her home and prayed, but nothing has improved yet.

“We are now sleeping in the open. We have no choice. After all, we hardly enjoy peaceful nights because at times we are pelted with stones by some unseen assailants. Today, it happened about three times when all of a sudden we found ourselves scurrying for cover as we were being pelted with stones. Sometimes some big objects like pots mysteriously rise from the ground coming in your direction and you just need to be alert all the time,” she said.

In a separate interview, Enoch professed ignorance on the causes of the calamity that has befallen their family. The distraught Enock said he actually came back from Bindura to clear his name.

“I was told while I was in Bindura that I was being fingered by some traditional healers as the person behind the mysterious happenings at our home. That is why I came back to clear my name. I know nothing about it. I have never consulted any traditional healers with the aim of acquiring riches. My hands are clean,” he said.

However, some neighbours confirmed that strange things were taking place at the Sithole homestead. Others went on to claim that snake-like creatures wearing sunglasses, a suit and a pair of shoes had been seen at the homestead.

After reading this guys, I’m not sure what disturbs me more – Invisible forces throwing stones, snakes dressed as men in black, or being fingered by healers.

I’m Jeffrey Lynch and that’s today’s Spot of Bother.

Bother Me Often, Carter Beale
Bothersome Reprise, Carter Beale

Sound effect audio credits:

Freesound.org – “demon laugh.mp3″ by anemicrose

Freesound.org – “23 FIACCOLA PASS.aiff” by lollosound

The Twin Within

listen | iTunes | rss | download | stitcher

I come from a family of twins. My Dad alone had two sets of twin siblings. Two of those twins later went on to produce twins. I always found it fascinating, and as a boy always jealous of my identical cousins. Not so much for the obvious reasons like dressing alike, pranking the neighbors or secretly sharing the same girlfriend but to experience the weird, creepy premonitions and synchronicities that often accompany such a close genetic connection. Sometimes I wonder if in fact I actually do have a twin, you know, one of those phantom siblings that isn’t quite viable enough to see the light of day and gets absorbed by the stronger fetus. That would perhaps explain both my love and hate of NASCAR as well as my mild bi-polar disorder. There are many astounding examples of psychic connections betwixt and betwinned and I have an interesting one to share with you today. Here’s more from The Mail Online:

Medical experts are describing it as an extraordinary example of sixth-sense – an identical twin’s headaches which led to his brother having a life-saving brain tumour operation.

When Sydney man Brenton Gurney, 38, began suffering from a series of headaches, he went for a brain scan, which revealed nothing wrong. But Brenton then suggested his identical twin Craig should go for a check up – and specialists found a 1.6in brain tumour in the base of his skull. Craig had a 10-hour operation to remove the tumour and has now recovered.

The incident has left medical experts acknowledging that there is still a lot to learn about the remarkable relationship between identical twins. Justine Gatt, who has been studying twins at Sydney’s Westmead Millennium Institute, said it showed ‘there’s a lot more to know’. She said: ‘This is not something that happens often.’

It was not the first time one of the twin brothers had felt the symptoms of the other. On one occasion it was Craig who detected his brother had a life-threatening mystery rash. He also knew when Brenton had dislocated his shoulder and, in a curious coincidence – or was there more to it? – both men married women called Nicole. We’re really closely connected and we’ve always been able to pick each other, know what each other was thinking,’ Craig said.

‘There’s no doubt in my mind that Brenton’s actions and getting involved in the study effectively saved my life,’ said Craig, referring to research being carried out by psychologists.

Specialist surgeon Dr Narinder Singh said when Craig sought his help ‘he was quite shell shocked, along with his wife, because he was completely asymptomatic’. This means he had a serious problem but was not experiencing symptoms.

The brothers have been helping twin research studies since their mother registered them with the Australian Twin Registry soon after their birth.

They said they believed it was ‘almost a duty’ for twins to take part in studies so scientists can learn more about the part that genes and the environment play on their health.

As for my twin cousins, one was killed in combat in Afghanistan while serving in the Marine Corps. I guess if he had been around he would have possibly felt the the pressure and pain in his chest that the other experienced as he died of a massive heart attack and collapsed into the open trunk of his car.

I’m Jeffrey Lynch and that’s today’s Spot of Bother.

Musical credits:

Bother Me Often, Carter Beale
Bothersome Reprise, Carter Beale

Audio sound effect credits:

Freesound.org – “drop_cardboard_box.wav” by farbin

Out of Service

Audio commentary available on the FlashCast Podcast.

If you use a mobile phone, then inevitably at some point you’ve experienced a dropped call, right? What’s especially frustrating to me are those times when I’m blathering along, confident that the person I’m talking with out in the Ether is hanging on my every word, only to get an incoming call signal in my ear from that very person. Upon answering, you discover that unbeknownst to you the call was dropped and the other person has no idea what you have said for the past minute or so. Frustrating, right? Deadly? Not usually … unless you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and AT&T let’s you down one, final time.

Thunderstorms kept Arthur Morris, 88 and his devoted wife of 50 years Medeleine, 89 inside their upstate refuge for much of May 3, but the sun had emerged by the time they ventured out around 4:30 p.m. Arthur guided the sedan down the long driveway and was negotiating a hairpin turn at the end when he slid off the road and into a ditch. The car rolled less than 15 feet down a steep embankment, hit a sapling and came to rest atilt on the driver’s side.

The slow-speed crash caused little damage to the car or its occupants, who tried five times in quick succession to call someone — with no luck.

At that point, the family believes, Arthur tried to get out. But because of the car’s steep angle, when he opened the door, he fell. His torso was wedged in an 8-inch space between the bottom of the door and the ground. He was asphyxiated, probably within 10 minutes, the family said.

His wife picked up the phone again and dialed four more times, trying to reach a neighbor as well as 911. Again and again the calls did not go through.

Madeleine crawled out of the car, leaving the phone behind, and went for help on foot. She trudged through brush to a dirt road, then struggled uphill with her cane. “She walked a quarter-mile to the neighbor’s house and there was no one there,” their grandson Jeantet Fields said. “It was a vacation house and they had left the day before.” She covered herself with a blue plastic tarp from the woodpile and settled down on the patio as temperatures dipped into the low 50s. By morning, she was dead.

The avoidable tragedy was uncovered when some turkey hunters found the wreck about 10 a.m. the next day, said Investigator Alan Ferrara of the state police.

Jeantet Fields said he had given his grandparents a cell phone on the AT&T network because he thought that would give them the best shot at a signal. Police and local residents say cell service is virtually non-existent in Andes and other small mountain towns with no towers — an annoyance and a danger.

Two years ago, then-Congressman Scott Murphy sent a public appeal to cell phone carriers to cover Delaware County, but it never happened. Margaretville Telephone Company, which provides landline service in the area, has been trying to get the ball rolling. General manager Glenn Faulkner said it’s difficult to lure big carriers like AT&T or Verizon to sparsely populated hamlets. Nevertheless, his company has secured several sites where towers could be built and is working to get commitments from carriers. One tower could go up in nearby Margaretville within a year; a site has been identified in Andes but it will probably take two years to get service there.

Now, I’m probably going to come off as a politically incorrect ageist just by suggesting this, but should two 90 year olds really be out driving around in the woods of NY in the first place? Sure, it’s easy to hang this on AT&T but if they had been in flat, sunny Florida they would have been able to leave their cabin and drive off safely into the Verizon.

I’m Jeffrey Lynch and that’s this week’s Spot of Bother.

Original story as published in The New York Daily News may be found HERE.

Audio sound effect credits:

Freesound.org – “metal crash 4 heavy.wav” by Halleck
Freesound.org – “phone01_j008b.wav” by j008b
Freesound.org – “mega-thunder.wav” by Erdie

Nibbling Around the Edges

listen | iTunes | rss | download | stitcher

As you well know, the world is filled with disgusting parasites. Leeches, maggots and investment bankers are a few that come to mind that can, on occasion be beneficial if they’re monitored closely and disposed of properly when their job is done. While leeches and investment bankers are best known for extracting pooled blood and reducing swelling here and there from a wound or bruised portfolio, maggots make quick work of necrotic and fetid flesh that might otherwise cause trouble for the entire body. I suppose it stands to reason that it would be best to keep the maggots away from the investment bankers as they would most likely make quick work of the poor bastards. While researching this topic and doing a little online banking, I happened upon this story of another little parasite :

Fish that are used in trendy spa treatments to clean feet may not be so clean themselves, a new study suggests.

In “fish pedicures,” the fish, called Garra rufa, exfoliate clients’ feet by nibbling on them. During a session, clients immerse their feet, or sometimes their entire bodies, in water with the fish, allowing the fish to feed on dead skin for cosmetic reasons, or to control skin conditions, the researchers said.

The researchers found that supplies of these fish from Indonesia destined for spas in the United Kingdom harbored potentially harmful bacteria. The researchers intercepted and tested the fish upon their arrival at a U.K. airport.

The fish carried a diverse range of bacteria, some of which are capable of causing soft tissue infections in people, the researchers said. The bacteria were resistant to a variety of antibiotics.

One type of bacteria found, Vibrio vulnificus, can cause wound infections and septicemia, a condition with high mortality rates, especially among people with conditions such as liver disease, diabetes or impaired immune function. Another type, called Streptococcus agalactiae, is a common cause of skin and soft tissue infections, especially in older adults and those with chronic diseases such as diabetes. Although the particular strain identified in the study does not generally cause human disease, it could evolve after repeated exposures to people, the researchers said.

There have been very few reports of people being infected with bacteria after a fish pedicure.

“However, our study raises some concerns over the extent that these fish, or their transport water, might harbor potential zoonotic disease pathogens of clinical relevance,” the researchers wrote in the June issue of Emerging Infectious Diseases, a journal of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

People with conditions such as diabetes or immunosuppression should be discouraged from undertaking these treatments, especially if they have breaks in the skin, the researchers said.

Spas that offer fish pedicures should consider using only disease-free fish reared in controlled facilities with high standards, the researchers said.

The study was conducted by researchers at the Center for Environment, Fisheries & Aquaculture Science Weymouth Laboratory, in Weymouth, United Kingdom.

I can’t help but wonder what happens to these little fish after they’re fed a steady diet of foot flesh. Are they edible? I know, maybe the spas could sell them as snacks to the patrons. Fried Garra fish on rye toast with a side of toe jam?

I’m Jeffrey Lynch and that’s today’s Spot of Bother.

Intro: Pierre Pressure, The New Orleans Bingo Show
Closing: Solace Interlude, The New Orleans Bingo Show
Six Cold Feet, Hugh Laurie

Sound effect audio credits:

Freesound.org – “Eating Crisps” by poorenglishjuggler
Freesound.org – “running water bubbles-02.aif” by kijjaz
Freesound.org – “00866 frying 1.wav” by Robinhood76

Kids Are Such Cutups

listen | iTunes | rss | download | stitcher

We’ve all heard stories of the terrible things that adults do to children from time to time, right? From pedophile priests to child labor sweat shops many kids have a pretty rough time. In my small town I’m shocked at the number of crimes against children that are reported by our local newspaper. I suppose that the good news is, the paper is reporting because the perps are being arrested and prosecuted. But still, the willingness, no, eagerness of some adults to exploit children is sometimes shocking beyond belief. I’d like to share with you today one such case that is shocking and disturbing – even to me.

From The Sydney Morning Herald, this is the story of George Mukisa:

George is a survivor of child sacrifice. He was aged just two, playing football with his brothers, when a neighbour, John Otebati, offered to take him into town for sweets. Instead, Otebati, a witch doctor, took him to a nearby banana plantation and removed his genitals with a knife. In Uganda, children live in fear of child sacrifice, driven by unscrupulous witch doctors and their accomplices or fraudulent traditional healers who claim they can bring power, prosperity and money.

A report by the British charity Jubilee Campaign and Kyampisi Childcare Ministries last year described the crime as a “relatively recent phenomenon” that was not a part of traditional culture.

According to the research, “greed and a growing middle class in Uganda” have fuelled the demand for child sacrificial rituals, during which the youngsters’ organs, blood and limbs are used after they have been killed.

George survived that brutal day in February 2009 only because passers-by heard his cries and interrupted Otebati, who fled, leaving George in a pool of blood.

He was rushed to hospital where doctors used a flap from his forearm to perform penile replacement surgery.

“He’s a fighter. He’s gone through a lot of pain. He remembers vividly what happened to him even though he was so young,” said the founder and executive director of Kyampisi ministries, Peter Sewakiryanga.

When George’s artificial penis stopped working two years ago, a urethral catheter was inserted into his abdomen, which allowed him to pass urine. But he is an active child and the tube constantly became dislodged. It had to be painfully removed and replaced weekly – causing him pain and leading to dangerous infections.

In 2010 a chance meeting between Pastor Sewakiryanga – who was visiting Australia from South Africa to talk to politicians and church groups about child sacrifice – and Geoff Mitchell, an Australian professor of general practice, changed his life. Professor Mitchell was horrified to learn of George’s ordeal and approached a friend, a Brisbane urological surgeon, David Winkle. A week ago Dr Winkle and a plastic surgeon, Scott Ingram, performed a life-changing operation to re-route George’s urethra. They also revised previous reconstructive surgeries, to make George look completely normal.

Dr Winkle said the surgery was rarely done in Australia, but was quite straight-forward.

He was reluctant to claim credit.

“George is the main game here. What we did was just help out and it’s not really much at all,” he said.

The surgeons were assisted by an anaesthetist, who also donated his time. Church groups in Australia, Britain and the US covered the rest of the costs.

Professor Mitchell said the group was delighted with the results.

“Without this surgery, George was likely to develop chronic urinary infections, renal failure and eventually die,” he said.

Otebati, who goes by the alias Otenge, was sentenced to 15 years’ jail in November.

Lieutenant-General Kayihura, the inspector-general of the Ugandan police, said his force had “defeated” the threat of child sacrifice after forming a taskforce in 2009. There were 15 reported cases in 2009, nine in 2010 and seven last year, police statistics show.

These figures, however, have been criticised.

Pastor Sewakiryanga said there were hundreds of cases of missing children in Uganda, possibly linked to child sacrifice or trafficking, and they were not being investigated due to a lack of police resources.

As a result, the real number of victims was likely to be “considerably higher”.

George, who arrived in Brisbane with Pastor Sewakiryanga three weeks ago, is expected to stay for another month or two. They are staying in the Brisbane suburb of Corinda and when he returns to Africa, it’s hoped he will be able to live with his family.

He will never have children and, when he is older, will need hormone replacement therapy, which Pastor Sewakiryanga will facilitate through fund-raising.

But for now, George – whose surname means “blessing” in his native tongue – is looking forward to going to the beach for the first time and seeing a koala.

“He loves Australia. Often times he tells me ‘you go back and I’ll stay’,” Pastor Sewakiryanga said. “He loves the hot showers and wants to see koalas.

“His recovery is surprising everybody. He is talking and laughing and running and he even plays a bit of soccer.”

George has also made friends with local children, who raised the money to buy him a scooter. Pastor Sewakiryanga hopes they will stay friends for life.

General Kayihura said he was “grateful to Australia for your compassion and generosity, for giving such critical support to this innocent child”.

“It will certainly give [George] a chance to live a normal life,” he said.

Well, it’s certainly encouraging to know that plastic surgery can give this poor kid back his future manhood. Once again, good has triumphed over evil through a combination of love, kindness, charity and cutting edge technology.

I’m Jeffrey Lynch and that’s today’s Spot of Bother.

Intro: Pierre Pressure, The New Orleans Bingo Show
Closing: Solace Interlude, The New Orleans Bingo Show
Bleed, Collective Soul

Audio sound effect credits:

Freesound.org – “Percussions tribales Assam.wav” by grololo
Freesound.org – “slashkut.wav” by Abyssmal
Freesound.org – “scream little boy.aiff” by gntv

Beware the Devil’s Breath

listen | iTunes | rss | download | stitcher

When I was a kid one of my favorite TV shows was the old Batman and Robin series from the 60′s. As a side note, I’d like to add that I’m not quite old enough to have seen them during their original run, but rather in syndication several years later. This was my first exposure to an exciting gay couple with lots of money and fantastic gadgets and toys. The story I have for you today reminded me of one of those old shows. I can’t remember the exact one. Nor can I recall which fiendish super-villian was involved, probably the lovely Ertha Kitt, but what does come to mind is a strange, potent material, blown in Batman’s face – not by Robin, but by the super-villian, that immediately put him into a zombie-like state. He was then captured, blah, blah, kaboom, pow… you know the routine if you’ve ever seen the show. Anyway, here’s the story as reported in The Mail Online:

A hazardous drug that eliminates free will and can wipe the memory of its victims is currently being dealt on the streets of Colombia. The drug is called scopolamine, but is commonly referred to as ‘The Devil’s Breath,’ and is derived from a particular type of tree common to South America. Stories surrounding the drug are the stuff of urban legends, with some telling horror stories of how people were raped, forced to empty their bank accounts, and even coerced into giving up an organ.

Demencia Black, a drug dealer in the capital of Bogota, said the drug is frightening for the simplicity in which it can be administered. Black says that Scopolamine can be blown in the face of a passer-by on the street, and within minutes, that person is under the drug’s effect – scopolamine is odourless and tasteless. ‘You can guide them wherever you want,’ he explained. ‘It’s like they’re a child.’ Black said that one gram of Scopolamine is similar to a gram of cocaine, but later called it ‘worse than anthrax.’ In high doses, it is lethal. The drug, he said, turns people into complete zombies and blocks memories from forming. So even after the drug wears off, victims have no recollection as to what happened.

One victim told Vice that a man approached her on the street asking her for directions. Since it was close by, she helped take the man to his destination, and they drank juice together. She took the man to her house and helped him gather all of her belongings, including her boyfriend’s cameras and savings. ‘It is painful to have lost money,’ the woman said,’ but I was actually quite lucky.’

According to the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology, the drug – also known as hyoscine – causes the same level of memory loss as diazepam.

In ancient times, the drug was given to the mistresses of dead Colombian leaders – they were told to enter their master’s grave, where they were buried alive.

In modern times, the CIA used the drug as part of Cold War interrogations, with the hope of using it like a truth serum. However, because of the drug’s chemical makeup, it also induces powerful hallucinations.

The tree is quite common around Colombia, and is called the ‘borrachero’ tree – loosely translated as the ‘get-you-drunk’ tree.

It is said that Colombian mothers warn their children not to fall asleep under the tree, though the leafy green canopies and large yellow and white flowers seem appealing.

Experts are baffled as to why Colombia is riddled with scopolamine-related crimes, but wager much of it has to do with the country’s torn drug-culture past, and on-going civil war.

Baffled? Really? If this thing would grow in Mendocino County, CA do you really think we’d need roofies anymore??

I’m Jeffrey Lynch and that’s today’s Spot of Bother.

Intro: Pierre Pressure, The New Orleans Bingo Show
Closing: Solace Interlude, The New Orleans Bingo Show
Batman TV Theme, Crimson Ensemble

Baby, Take a Powder

listen | iTunes | rss | download | stitcher

I’m sure that many of you, like me, take various supplements and vitamins to keep yourselves healthy right? My personal selections include daily doses of Vitamin D, Fish Oil and Turmeric, with the occasional Zinc and acidophilus thrown down the hatch for good measure. My favorite ‘supplement’ is red wine. After all, the results of a recent study on mice released in the May 1 issue of Cell Metabolism suggest that the active compound resveratrol could actually slow down the aging process by increasing mitochondrial function. But that’s all boring science, and not really what I want to discuss today. The story out this week that really intrigues me is about a natural supplement from China that allegedly cures all sorts of ailments, and South Korea’s heavy-handed response to the shipment of this useful and benign product. Here’s more from The Guardian:

South Korea has seized thousands of smuggled drug capsules filled with powdered flesh from dead babies, which some people believe can cure disease.

The capsules were made in north-east China from babies whose bodies were chopped into small pieces and dried on stoves before being turned into powder, the Korean customs service said.

Officials refused to say where the dead babies had come from or who made the capsules, citing possible diplomatic friction with Beijing. Last year, Chinese officials ordered an investigation into the production of drugs made from dead foetuses or newborns.

The customs service said it had discovered 35 attempts since August to smuggle a total of about 17,450 capsules.

The smugglers told customs officials they believed the capsules were ordinary stamina boosters, and were ignorant of the ingredients and manufacturing process. Ethnic Koreans from north-east China who now live in South Korea intended to use the capsules themselves or share them with other Korean-Chinese, a customs official said.

The capsules were carried in luggage or sent by international mail. They were all confiscated but no one was punished because the amount was deemed small and they were not intended for sale, the official said.

The customs agency began investigating after receiving a tip a year ago. No sicknesses have been reported from ingesting the capsules.

I can’t help but wonder if the powdered baby could, like my Turmeric, also be used as seasoning to make a delicious chicken curry?

I’m Jeffrey Lynch and that’s today’s Spot of Bother.

Intro: Pierre Pressure, The New Orleans Bingo Show
Closing: Solace Interlude, The New Orleans Bingo Show
Gee Baby Ain’t I Good To you, Billie Holiday

Audio sound effect credits:

Freesound.org – “babycry01.wav” by pfly